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So, this is my first post after a long, unplanned hiatus with a lot of personal stuff involved, some of which I may share some day.

What prompted this post was going through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Coach Master Series a couple of weeks ago. It’s something I’d planned on doing, but hadn’t been able to do til recently, when a friend from church made it possible for me to come along with him and his wife while they did the same training.

The fact is, I am not a natural saver, nor have I always been a consistent give. That’s always been a point of regret and sometimes shame for me. Although I’m naturally pretty good with numbers, I’m more of a feeler than a thinker at times, so the topic always felt like a chore to me or like something to avoid thinking about.

My strength as a worship leader has always been in being able to connect with God on an emotional level, which is part of why music was a natural outlet. It’s where we first got to know each other, if I can put it that way. This is why Dave Ramsey was such a God-send. He focuses primarily on behavior and connecting to what’s going on inside you to cause you misbehave with money. He can be blunt and gracious all at the same time. He might be the first person who ever called my behavior stupid where I felt like that was a loving thing to say (not directly, through his radio show, books, DVD classes, etc. I did finally get to meet him in person after the coach training). This is because he’s so open about his own failures in this area.

I bring all this up because I believe God is interested in setting us free, and money is one of the biggest ways people get bound up. I know this from experience. When I first heard of Dave, I knew Anna and I were avoiding our debt problems. I had already paid off about $26,000 through credit counseling a couple of years earlier, and I thought we had about $35,000 or so. When we started his plan, we added up all our debts, and it turns out I was about half wrong – it was just under $70,000. It was a little sickening to look at that number. We got pretty fired up though. We finally got a budget that worked – one that we lived by, not one where we just tracked what we were doing after the fact. We had goals – debt we wanted to be free of, a job I wanted to quit, children we wanted to adopt. It reminds me of a quote I first heard from John Eldredge in “Wild at Heart“, though he was quoting Howard Thurman:

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

The fact is, I never felt that as deep as I did when we started getting  our money under control. It wasn’t just that we payed our debt down ($40,000 gone in the first 2 years, and as of this writing $8,500 left to go), we were able to give to our church consistently for the first time in our lives. God also sent us our son, adopted through the Foster Care system. He also started healing me and freeing me from addictions I’d struggled with for years. He’s also freed me to pursue passions he put in my heart before I was born. Life feels more like and adventure than a chore now.

I’ve heard Dave Ramsey say that God uses money as a way to get to talk to us about other, deeper things going on in our hearts. I know how that feels deep in my heart now.

Thanks, Dave, for teaching me something deeper about worship than I’d learned in 8 years as a worship leader.

How to find good people to add to your worship team

If you’ve spent any time leading worship in a church, paid or otherwise, you’ve probably spent some time thinking about how to add musicians to your team. Maybe you’ve even thought about how to recruit other worship leaders to help ease the load and grow the team with. In that light, I thought I would offer a 5 tips based on my experience.
Although this is not my exclusive source of information, this mostly mirrors the guidelines we’ve come to use at Vineyard Community Church. I can’t take much credit for putting these in place, but I’ve had the opportunity to see them work in action and I fully stand behind them.

1. Value Character over Gifting

I first heard this from my pastor, David Stark. He’s a fan of acronyms, so I’ve heard COG over the years. This comes first. I don’t think it’s any secret that fame can bring the worst out of people, no matter how pitiful the level of fame involved. Sometimes just giving someone the opportunity to play an instrument or sing publicly can bring out the worst in them. It’s not that I don’t have grace or understand the insecurities unique to musicians – I’ve lived out most of them, probably – but sometimes, the stage can cause someone’s good heart to be obscured by their own need for recognition. In other words, I don’t care how good a musician someone is, or even if they can lead a great time of worship week in and week out. If they’re mainly out for their own glory, or in general, have an ego that can’t be reined in, they probably don’t belong on your worship team. I will take someone with very undeveloped talent, but a truly humble and teachable attitude any day. In fact, that’s the type of person who really is a good candidate for leading a worship team someday.

2. Look for people who are plugged in to your church – i.e., are they known by you?

I think there are exceptions  to this rule sometimes, and it may be much more difficult if you’re dealing with a very small church or a new church plant, but in general, I think it’s safest to find musicians among the people already connected to and committed to your church body. This will help you achieve the goal under heading #1, because it’s much harder to hide your issues when you’re well known by people in your church. The way we do this in our church as of now is by requiring that anyone interested in being part of our worship team has to have been a part of our body for at least 6 months, and they either have to be an active part of a small group or otherwise personally known by someone in leadership. Of course, this assumes your church cultivates a culture of honesty and openness. If it doesn’t, you have bigger problems and may want to pray about moving on. If you’re so small as a body that you can’t grow the team at all without bringing in new folks, I would be praying a lot for Jesus to send you the right people. Don’t get desperate and put someone brand new to the church on the team unless you really think God told you too. As the saying goes, it’s easier to lay hands on someone than to lay them off. Or something like that 🙂

3. Look for people who buy into your vision as a worship leader

It helps at this point to have actually spent some time considering what’s really important to you when you lead worship. For instance, I believe very deeply in the value of creating space for intimacy and I believe without a doubt that the Holy Spirit is actually interested in meeting with the church. In light of that, I tend to lean toward songs with a personal tone – songs that could double as a prayer, and probably tend to be quieter over all, rather than being upbeat and celebrative. This is not to exclude people with a different point of view – I also believe we need to cultivate different perspectives and make room for stylistic differences within a team, but the core vision should be common to the team.

4. Look at your current musical needs

In other words, don’t load up on guitar players if you’ve already got more than enough. I would, however, be actively asking interested parties if they’re willing to fill others spots, at least for a while. We did this recently with one of our bass players. He had been on the team for about a year or so, but we ended up losing two drummers. He was willing to give drumming a try, and even though it’s a stretch for him, he’s been able to fill a very important role for us. This also helps increase my confidence that he’s on the team for the right reasons. If there’s a person of character and gifting you would like on your team, but you just don’t have a place for now, see if you can find another place for them. Our church has small groups that meet during the week – many of which like to include a couple of worship songs as part of the time. See #2 above. I wouldn’t ask a team member to continue on an instrument they have no interest in, however – at  least not for very long. That will only end up frustrating everyone.

5. Look for people who can grow as musicians (at least to a certain point)

This is a tricky one, and all depends on the type of team you’re going for and the many variables involved in leading a volunteer team. The fact is, most people will end up simply not having the time to grow beyond a certain level of mastery. I would include myself in this category. The fact is, I have more responsibilities and demands on my time than I have time or energy to become the musician I think I could be. This is a conscious choice for now. I don’t expect it to always be the case, but I think this has actually helped adjust my attitude with other team members and has helped me have grace and value them much more than I would if I was simply looking to play with the best musicians around. On the other hand, it’s also a fact that sometimes, some team members may not actually be capable of growth beyond a certain point because, as bad as they may want it, the talent just doesn’t seem to be there. In reality, at a certain point, you will probably end up raising the minimum skill requirements as you grow as a team, so it helps to have musicians who can grow with you.

I hope you’ve found these helpful, but I’d love to hear how you do it too. What have you found it helpful to look for when building your own team? Anything I missed?

Sorrow for all Seasons (Some rights reserved by fallingwater123)

“How blessed are those who mourn, because it is they who will be comforted! (Matthew 5:4, ISV)

“For having sorrow in a godly way results in repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regrets. But the sorrow of the world produces death.” (2 Corinthians 7:10, ISV)

Last week I got a lesson from my 5-year-old son Levi on what it means to “have sorrow in a godly way”. My wife was out of town for a day, so he and I went to see a movie together. I think we were both tired from a long week. After the movie was over, we stopped at a grocery store, and Levi started acting up – grabbing things on shelves, running down aisles, generally acting crazy.
I have to admit I was completely annoyed and for the sake of getting him out of the store quickly without further disruption, I grabbed his hand and wouldn’t let go. He got very angry, lost his temper, and by the time we got to the car he had thrown a loud fit, and said some very hurtful things. This is where his gift for articulation can get him into trouble sometimes.

By that point, I was in control of myself enough that I didn’t yell back at him and once he got in the car, I told him that I loved him and that the words he used and things he said to me were very hurtful.

What followed might be the best, most thorough, full-bodied weeping I think I’ve ever heard, along with a full apology, at least as articulate as the previous insults.

It helped me remember what true sorrow and repentance looks like. Levi’s little heart was broken over how he had acted and what he had said.

That same week, my wife and I had a hard discussion about some things that I had done that were really hurtful to her – things I hadn’t been honest with her about and that I’m ashamed to admit brought out the cowardly part of me. As sorry as I was, I still wish I could have been as free as Levi in my demonstration of sorrow. And this is where I realize how much of a gift it is to be truly sorry, and how childlike you have to be.

This has caused me to reflect further on what it truly means to be “Abba’s Child” – to be loved exactly as I am, especially with all my shortcomings.

I realize in writing this post that I run the risk of embarrassing Levi as he gets older and reads what I’ve written here. I hope he knows, though, that I write not out of shame for how he acted, but out of pride for the love and softness I see in his heart. It’s the part of him I hope he always retains and always comes back to over the years, when he finds himself doing far worse things and not sure how his Daddy feels about him (both myself and God).

I’m also really feeling now how much God really does love me. I have to keep coming back to this because it’s a battle against both the old part of me and the enemy. But I feel like somewhere recently I crossed a line, and I’m realizing in a deeper way how much I’m really loved.

So, here’s to more sorrow and true repentance. We could all use it.

When I was a young worship leader and a very new musician, I think I had this picture in my head of my ideal band. I knew from the first time I was given a bass and was able to play it competently that I was gifted. The truth is, I also probably had an unreasonably high opinion of my own abilities.

On the other hand, I also genuinely loved to worship. For me, there was an ideal of awesome, intimate worship with close friends with whom I could grow musically.

The reality hasn’t really turned out that way. My dreams, at this point, haven’t really come true.

Or maybe they have.

I remember C.S. Lewis, in one of his writings – maybe more than one – saying that God giving us the desires of our heart doesn’t mean that we get what we want on the surface, but we do get what we really wanted all along, in the deepest, truest part of our hearts.

That’s what I’ve found in leading worship. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve gotten to play with some very gifted people over the years and I’ve had plenty of fun, but there has also been plenty of adjustment, either in not being able to play with musicians as skilled as I’d like, or, more often, with musicians as good as or better than me who don’t necessarily share my musical tastes or vision. The gift, for me, has started to come to fruition mainly by learning to share the platform. A few months back I started really taking some risks in letting other team members lead songs. It turns out our team members have a lot more to share than I might have given them credit for in the past, and even the ones who have some growing to do have risen to the occasion and doing an outstanding job.

I don’t want to oversell the point though. I still have a long way to go. I can still be a pain to work with as a leader. I can still be arrogant and demanding and all about “my vision” as a worship leader, but I’ve at least gotten started I think.

The moral of the story is, I really wanted to be a good worship leader more than I wanted to be an awesome musician, and in the end, I think I’m actually a better musician for it too.

My question for you is, do you feel the same? Do you feel like God has adjusted your dreams? Or maybe he’s just been asking you to give up what you think you want for what you really want?

Picking a set is one of those things I love and hate as a leader. Sometimes I have a song in mind I’ve been waiting to do, sometimes nothing sounds right, but it’s often somewhere in between.
Usually it starts with having a good song filter, and that comes down to these questions:

1. What do I want the set to feel like as a whole? Does it seem like an upbeat week? A quiet, reflective week? A week to pour our my heart, good bad and ugly? Does the song I’m looking at fit that feel?
2. Is there continuity between this song and the rest of this set with regard to flow of the service or meeting? Can it be played in a key that fits and makes for smooth transitions?
3. Is a song I’m choosing a good song? Meaning, does it stick in my head? Is the melody actually good and desirable in some way? This does not mean happy or sunny necessarily, just its ability to be considered a “good” song. I realize this may seem arbitrary and completely subjective, but it’s not – at least not completely. In other words, does the melody speak to me and connect with my heart?
4. Can I and the band play it? Not everyone on the team is at the same skill level, and I myself am not as skilled as others might be. If every song involves bar chords sliding up and down the fret board, my hand will probably cramp before one song is over.
5. Are the lyrics actually theologically sound, to the best of my knowledge? This one can be tricky, I think, but again, ask yourself, do the words really reflect God’s heart as you best understand Him?
6. Are the lyrics personal? In other words, are they about my relationship with God and promoting that? I’ve heard plenty of complaint over the years about “girly” worship songs, and I tend to think that complaint is way over-blown. If you want to know how personal and intimate and “girly” God can be, try reading the book of Hosea a few times through.

Whether you start with individual songs or with the set as a whole, you need to give some thought to the set as well. It helps me to think through these questions too:

1. Assuming this is a Sunday morning, if I know something about the theme of the sermon, I try to keep that in mind, at least a little bit. Honestly though, I usually don’t know, and knowing doesn’t always help anyway.
2. If I’m talking to God about the set, what do I think he’s saying about the feel of it? Usually, this gets me matched up to the set in a way I obviously didn’t plan. I like this way better and I think it’s the better way anyway. The most I can take credit for is listening to and following Him the best I know how, which is kind of the point, right?
3. If I need to adjust anything when we get there, do I have a backup plan? This usually involves cutting a song or sometimes rearranging the set.
4. Are the songs arranged in a way that fits the flow of service? For instance, at my church on a Sunday, it’s usually like this: 1 song opens up, usually mostly upbeat, then announcements, then sermon, then we get called back up to play, but we have prayer ministry time up front, so the next 1-2 songs are softer and more reflective to allow good prayer time. Then we have 2-3 more songs, and usually gradually move toward more upbeat and celebratory to close the morning, though not always.

Those are really the most important things I can think of when it comes to picking a set.

What do you think? Did I miss anything? How do you pick your own sets?