Today I met with a man from church who’s starting to be sort of a mentor to me. During that meeting, God really spoke to me clearly about something I need to keep repenting of – my lack of faith. Specifically, my lack of consistency in dreaming and praying and action. My mentor also gave me an assignment to pray and practice song writing more consistently than I have been before we meet again.
I know I’m not that different from a lot of people my age. I have a wife, a son, a full-time job, and a lot of responsibilities with church. If I wanted to, I could fill every waking hour with something that revolves around one of these things. I’m not so good at finding the time to pray and ask God for what I really want though, or for what he wants from me.
Deep inside, though, are dreams, that I believe are God-given.
Here are a few, in no particular order:
- Write lots of good music
- Play and sing lots of good music
- Write books and blogs about the above, as well as other topics of interest to me, and of which
- Do all of the above full-time, without having to do other work for a living as well, so I have time to truly master them
- Do all of the above with my wife
- Have more children, by birth and / or adoption
- Lose fat and build muscle, til I have healthy amounts of both in my body
- Be debt-free and have enough money in the bank for emergencies and retirement
I’m not shallow enough to think that all my dreams are perfect, but I do believe that at the core, they do come from God.
Up til recently, I wouldn’t have considered my unwillingness to dream big and ask big to be a sin, but I’m starting to think differently at this point. I’m starting to take the idea of boldness more seriously. I think the alternative is to come to the end of my life never having really lived the life I was meant to. Not that I’m loved any less, but that what God has put in me has importance, simply because he put it there.
I think this also has implications for me as a worship leader. I know it has, in a negative sense. I’ve let my natural pessimism and fear keep me from trying very hard as a leader at times.
So, I’m going to let today be a line of demarcation. Today, I intend to dream bigger and to keep on dreaming when I don’t feel like it, and I intend to act on those dreams, and I’m sorry for where I haven’t in the past.